Becoming a father

There is a feeling of elation when you wife first tells you that she is in the family way.The way you look at her changes drastically and suddenly you don the coat of a caring and doting husband. She gives you a doubtful look wondering if all that extra care is for her or the baby. You care about her and pamper her with things that she had once asked you and you have been rejecting . Though there is a pinch in you pocket in buying all those food supplements,medicines and fruits for her, you do it with a sense of satisfaction. Whenever you tell somebody that you are going to become a father, the pride shows.

But waiting for all these months is not a big deal. The real anxiety hits you when you are informed that the baby is born and you wait for the nurse to show you the baby. you can feel a roller coaster running in your stomach.what will she be like? like me or her mohter? will she be plump or thin? will she be the girl i have been viusalizing all these months? The feeling is hard to describe. I have spoken about this to many young fathers and most of them have felt the same way. I think this happens when you wait for something to happen and when it finally happens.That too, in this matter you dont have any control. When you finally see her and hear her cry ( most babies wail during this time) it brings mixed mixed emtions.

Though you are happy ,you are scared. You should change a lot. you should become more mature as now there is somebody who will look up to you and learn. you should be more religious. you should be kind towards people. you should be a perfect guy. you should...you should... whenever you look at your father or uncles , you see them from a different perspective. you are one of them. you belong to the league. suddenly that sense of closeness sets in.

The first few months of fatherhood is something no father can forget. you like the way she smiles, moves her arms and she cries. you lie next to her for hours together and speak a language that is understandable only to you ( definitely not to the baby or your wife). This is the starting point for the eternal feud "wife or child?". Your wife starts complaining that you have changed a lot after the kid arrived and is more (or only) interested in the kid. Then the kid starts rolling and finally she starts moving. This is a timeframe where you get more physical exercise. I still dont understand the sleeping habits of the kids. it is totally unpredicatable and she wakes up and goes to sleep at will. I have always considered and prided myself on being a night owl. but i didnot expect the competetion to crop up from my own family that too from my own daughter.

If your wife is a working woman , you deserve pity.You almost end up everynight looking after the kid. She is in a very playful mood and this only increases as the clock ticks. at midnight she is full form and you are expected to give her company.. lucky are the few who can go to sleep immediately anywhere and at any time.my wife is lucky and I am not. Your whole life revolves around the kid. you constanly are on the look out to prevent her from banging her head on the TV stand, from putting your vehicle keys or the coins into her mouth and becoming a playmate whenever she demands. You start to belive you have made a good father and your kid loves to be with you.Suddenly she starts crying and wants to go to her mother as if you never existed. these are insulting moments any father has to undergo.

you go to sleep well after mighnight and when you close your eyes you think of the next days meeting with your client. You get up early and rush to themeeting, get kicked right royally, come to office, fight with your subordinates, solve the worthless confilct of your team members, pacify a few others, prepare an impossible target plan to be sent to the superioirs and break your head in finishing the pending work in an equally impossible deadline. You are pushed to the peak of irritation and start worrying about the way your life has changed. you often feel that you have to run away to some far corner of the earth and be out of all this. When you get back home you feel drained and exhausted and could not even drag yourself into the house.

but there, your kid waits and she gives a broad smile seeing you. You see the happiness in her face. hell to deadlines and deliveries. now you are a father to this beautiful kid who is happy just for the fact that you are back home. You forget that you are a dignified IT professional. you become the crazy guy whom your daughter loves. You get ready for another late night session. afterall fatherhood gives you a satisfaction that your job doesnot.