Kids & books

It's never too early to steer your child toward books. But for toddlers, the goal is not to make sure they can read the classics before they're out of preschool. "The phrase to remember is 'developmentally appropriate,'" says Roni Leiderman, associate dean of the Family Center at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "Parents often come to me wanting to push academics too much, too fast, too soon. In fact, children learn best through play. Make reading a joyous event for them."


There are many developmentally appropriate — and fun — ways to help your little one learn to love books and stories. And, surprisingly, not all of them involve sitting down with an actual book.

Use books to bond
"It's not about reading the words," says Leiderman. "At this age it's about learning to love the interaction with mom, dad, or a caretaker." When your child sits in your lap as you read aloud, she doesn't just enjoy books, she also enjoys the security of your undivided attention.

Set up a ritual
A regular reading time establishes a calming routine young children love — that's why the bedtime story is a time-honored tradition. But don't forget that many other daily events also provide good reading opportunities. Once in a while try establishing a new ritual with a breakfast story, a bathtub story, a just-home-from-daycare story. Some toddlers (and older children) who are heavy sleepers are much better able to face the day when their parents "read them awake" rather than hustle them out of bed.

Choose appropriate books
Toddlers love board books, bathtub books, and pop-up books — any type they can hold easily and manipulate themselves. They love stories accompanied by bright, clear, realistic pictures. And of course they love rhymes. That's not to say your 2-year-old won't appreciate the stories her big brother chooses — who knows, Rocks and Minerals may end up being her favorite book. Just make sure she has access to simpler books as well.

Repeat, repeat, repeat
Stifle your yawns if you've read A Very Hungry Caterpillar every night for the past month and your child still asks to hear it again. Repetition is a hallmark of the toddler years. "The reason children love to read the same stories over and over and over again is that they're so thirsty to learn," says Leiderman. You'll soon find that your toddler has memorized her favorite passages and is eager to supply key phrases herself — both signs of increasing reading readiness.

Ham it up
Lose your inhibitions when you read to your child. Growl like the Papa Bear in Goldilocks, squeak like Piglet in Winnie-the-Pooh. Kids love drama as much as adults do — in fact, your youngster may love to pretend to be the scary wolf in The Three Little Pigs. Encourage her, even if it slows the story's progress. She'll get more out of the story if she's participating actively.

Follow her interests
Choose books about her favorite activities — visiting the zoo, swimming, playing ball. Back up your kids' favorite videos and TV shows with books about the characters. You may be mystified by the appeal of "Teletubbies," but if your child loves the cheery little creatures, she'll love the books about their exploits as well. Follow her lead, but do experiment with a wide variety of books before you decide you know exactly what your child will like. Your little girl who loves dress-up and dolls may, to your surprise, also be the one who asks to hear Godzilla Likes to Roar or Monster Bugs over and over.

Go to the library
Even babies like library story-hours, and they're wonderful adventures for toddlers. Your child may well discover a new favorite when it's presented by the beguiling librarian with her soothing voice and perhaps some pictures or puppets to illustrate the action. And, of course, libraries let parents — and kids — try out countless stories without spending a bundle.

Turn on the tape
Many wonderful books exist on cassette or CD. You can feed your child's eagerness to hear Puss in Boots for the umpteenth time, even though you need to go start dinner, by turning on the recording (with or without the accompanying picture book). You could also tape books and stories yourself, or ask a beloved friend or relative to do so. Hearing grandma's voice reading a favorite story is a special treat.

Don't make books a reward
Don't tell your child she can listen to a story if she finishes her dinner. When reading is associated with systems of reward and punishment, it isn't a positive experience. Instead, pick times to read that feel natural, such as when you want your toddler to quiet down before her nap.

Dealing with the wigglers
Some wiggly youngsters just won't sit still through all of Blueberries for Sal. What to do? "Sit down and leaf through something short for just 30 seconds, and then say, 'Wow, we read this whole book!' Then let them go," says Leiderman. The next day you can try a little longer session. "Some children will always be more interested in motor activities than in reading," she says. "Respect that, and don't make reading a negative experience." If your toddler is the physically active type, she may respond best to the non-book-related activities described below.

Make storytelling a part of life
"Promoting reading readiness is more than reading a traditional book," says Leiderman. While you're at the dinner table or in the car, tell stories — standards like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" anecdotes from your own childhood, or stories that feature your child as a central character. Make books of your child's drawings or favorite photos, and tell stories about them — or ask her to be the narrator.

Point out words everywhere
Wherever you go, you can show your child that words are an important part of everyday life. Even the youngest toddlers quickly learn, for example, that traffic signs say STOP. Alphabet refrigerator magnets are staples in many homes. Other families label objects around the house, such as the shelves that house BLOCKS, DOLLS, and other toys. If your child is in daycare or preschool, slip a daily note into her lunchbox. Even if she can't yet read CAT, seeing the word printed on a piece of paper, along with a drawing or sticker of a cute kitten, will be a high point in her day and help excite her interest in reading. If this seems too ambitious, try drawing a heart or smiley face with a simple "I love you," which will help get your toddler excited about the meaning behind words.

Talk
Children from families who converse at the dinner table have larger vocabularies, according to researchers at Harvard University. Talk with your toddler, and don't be afraid to use complex words and phrases. Encourage her questions and explanations. Toddlers are curious and wonder endlessly about the world, so don't be shy about trying to explore her interests with her.

Demonstrate your own love of books
Your child wants to imitate you. If she sees books all around the house and knows that you like to settle down with one whenever you have a moment to yourself, she'll learn that books are essential to daily life. Modeling your own love of reading is more powerful than making your child sit through a rigid story time.

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exciting year

one more year is coming to an end. On the whole, this year had mixed feeling and emotions. 2004 was really good. But again we can’t blame on the year. It is attributed to what we did that particular year. One and only thing that occupied my mind this year was my daughter. If we calculate the time I spent on various activities, the time spent in thinking about her would top the list. She is a very cute and intelligent child.

In the beginning of the year she started rolling over, then she started sitting, towards the end of the year she started walking. Now she walks nicely though she often trips and falls down. It is still hard for me to believe that my daughter walks. I should really thank God for giving me such a sweet child. Now I think it is time for me think about other things like saving for my child and other financial matters.I have to concentrate on this as in no time my daughter will start running , go to school and blossom into a beautiful young woman

Becoming a father

There is a feeling of elation when you wife first tells you that she is in the family way.The way you look at her changes drastically and suddenly you don the coat of a caring and doting husband. She gives you a doubtful look wondering if all that extra care is for her or the baby. You care about her and pamper her with things that she had once asked you and you have been rejecting . Though there is a pinch in you pocket in buying all those food supplements,medicines and fruits for her, you do it with a sense of satisfaction. Whenever you tell somebody that you are going to become a father, the pride shows.

But waiting for all these months is not a big deal. The real anxiety hits you when you are informed that the baby is born and you wait for the nurse to show you the baby. you can feel a roller coaster running in your stomach.what will she be like? like me or her mohter? will she be plump or thin? will she be the girl i have been viusalizing all these months? The feeling is hard to describe. I have spoken about this to many young fathers and most of them have felt the same way. I think this happens when you wait for something to happen and when it finally happens.That too, in this matter you dont have any control. When you finally see her and hear her cry ( most babies wail during this time) it brings mixed mixed emtions.

Though you are happy ,you are scared. You should change a lot. you should become more mature as now there is somebody who will look up to you and learn. you should be more religious. you should be kind towards people. you should be a perfect guy. you should...you should... whenever you look at your father or uncles , you see them from a different perspective. you are one of them. you belong to the league. suddenly that sense of closeness sets in.

The first few months of fatherhood is something no father can forget. you like the way she smiles, moves her arms and she cries. you lie next to her for hours together and speak a language that is understandable only to you ( definitely not to the baby or your wife). This is the starting point for the eternal feud "wife or child?". Your wife starts complaining that you have changed a lot after the kid arrived and is more (or only) interested in the kid. Then the kid starts rolling and finally she starts moving. This is a timeframe where you get more physical exercise. I still dont understand the sleeping habits of the kids. it is totally unpredicatable and she wakes up and goes to sleep at will. I have always considered and prided myself on being a night owl. but i didnot expect the competetion to crop up from my own family that too from my own daughter.

If your wife is a working woman , you deserve pity.You almost end up everynight looking after the kid. She is in a very playful mood and this only increases as the clock ticks. at midnight she is full form and you are expected to give her company.. lucky are the few who can go to sleep immediately anywhere and at any time.my wife is lucky and I am not. Your whole life revolves around the kid. you constanly are on the look out to prevent her from banging her head on the TV stand, from putting your vehicle keys or the coins into her mouth and becoming a playmate whenever she demands. You start to belive you have made a good father and your kid loves to be with you.Suddenly she starts crying and wants to go to her mother as if you never existed. these are insulting moments any father has to undergo.

you go to sleep well after mighnight and when you close your eyes you think of the next days meeting with your client. You get up early and rush to themeeting, get kicked right royally, come to office, fight with your subordinates, solve the worthless confilct of your team members, pacify a few others, prepare an impossible target plan to be sent to the superioirs and break your head in finishing the pending work in an equally impossible deadline. You are pushed to the peak of irritation and start worrying about the way your life has changed. you often feel that you have to run away to some far corner of the earth and be out of all this. When you get back home you feel drained and exhausted and could not even drag yourself into the house.

but there, your kid waits and she gives a broad smile seeing you. You see the happiness in her face. hell to deadlines and deliveries. now you are a father to this beautiful kid who is happy just for the fact that you are back home. You forget that you are a dignified IT professional. you become the crazy guy whom your daughter loves. You get ready for another late night session. afterall fatherhood gives you a satisfaction that your job doesnot.

Bath

"Baths are fun! Bring plastic containers or empty water bottles to bath time. Show baby how you fill them up with water. Then pour water from one container to another. Help baby do this too. It will foster her physical skills such as eye-hand coordination. "

Parenting Techniques

Aggression, which can be both good and bad, is a normal human instinct. It spurs a baby to crawl and then to walk. It compels a preschooler to try to run as fast as her friends, and a school-age child to get good marks in school. When aggression becomes hostile, parents must help children control and use it to their advantage.

http://parenting.sesameworkshop.org/sesamebeginnings/library
/article.php?contentId=1034

Due to the powerful link between mother and baby in the womb, a newborn can't sense where she ends and Mom begins. But around age 5 or 6 months, babies discover their fingers and toes and begin to realize that their bodies are their own, separate and apart from their mother's.

http://parenting.sesameworkshop.org/sesamebeginnings/library/
article.php?contentId=86681

Babies reveal their temperament in many ways: through their attentiveness and ability to focus; their activity level; their regularity of feeding and sleeping; their ease or difficulty in adjusting to change; and their degree of sociability. By observing behavior, researchers (and, more importantly, parents) can get a glimpse of the kinds of personalities children will develop.

http://parenting.sesameworkshop.org/sesamebeginnings/library/
article.php?contentId=101140

Even if you didn't try infant massage with your first child, you might want to check it out this time around. You may find that it benefits both you and your baby.

http://parenting.sesameworkshop.org/sesamebeginnings/library/
article.php?contentId=618

Emotionally Intelligent Child

Help your child name his feelings.
With limited vocabulary and rudimentary understanding of cause and
effect, toddlers often have trouble describing what they feel. You
can encourage your child to build an emotional vocabulary by giving
him labels for his feelings. If he's acting disappointed about not
being able to go to the park, you might say, "You feel sad about
that, don't you?" You can also let him know that it's normal to have
conflicting emotions about something - for instance, he may be both
excited and scared during his first week at daycare.

If your child seems sad or upset for no immediate reason, try
looking at the big picture and thinking about what might be troubling
him. Have you moved recently? Did you and your spouse have an argument
in his presence? If you're not sure what's going on, watch and listen
to him while he plays. If he makes the Mommy doll shout a lot, you'll
have a pretty good idea what's bothering him.

Validate your child's emotions.
Instead of saying, "There's no reason to get so upset," if your child
gets mad and throws a tantrum because he's unable to put together a
puzzle, acknowledge how natural his reaction is. Say, "It's really
frustrating when you can't finish a puzzle, isn't it?" Telling him his
reactions are inappropriate or excessive will make him feel as if he
should muzzle them.

Turn tantrums into teaching tools.
If your child gets upset when he hears that he has an appointment with
the dentist, help him feel in control by preparing for the visit. Talk
with him about why he's afraid, what he can expect during the visit,
and why he needs to go. Tell him about a time you had stage fright
before a recital or were scared to start a new job and one of your
friends made you feel better. Talking through emotions works the same
way for children as it does for most adults.

Use conflicts to teach problem-solving.
When your toddler goes head-to-head with you or another child, make his
limits clear, then guide him toward a solution. For example, you can
say, "I know you're upset that your sister keeps knocking over your
block tower, but you can't hit her. What else can you do if you get
mad?" If your child doesn't have any ideas, give him options. Anger
management specialist Lynne Namka advises telling your child to first
check his tummy, jaw, and fists to see if they're tight, breathe deeply
"to blow the mad out," and to feel good about recovering control. Then,
Namka says, help your child use a strong voice to talk his anger out,
beginning with something like, "I feel mad when you yell like that."
Children should know that it's okay to be angry, as long as they don't
hurt other people for that reason.

Set an example by staying calm.
You'll also want to check how you react to your child's display of
emotions. It's important not to be verbally harsh when you're angry.
Try saying, "It upsets me when you do that," rather than "You make me
crazy," so your child understands that the problem is his behavior, not
him. Be careful to avoid excessive criticism, which tends to chip away
at a child's self-confidence.

And above all else, stay in touch with your own feelings. Some parents
ignore their own negative emotions, hoping to spare their children
discomfort or difficulty. But hiding your real feelings will only
confuse your child. By acknowledging that you're displeased without
acting upset, for instance, you show your child that even difficult
feelings can be managed.

first birthday party

My daughter has completed her first year on 13-1205. We had a small aprty on 17-12-05 in our place to celebrate the occasion. i have posted the photos in the site and you can view them by clicking here